The Cost of Becoming Who You’re Meant to Be

You know, Robert and I laugh sometimes about how different life looks now compared to what we imagined 10, 15,  or even 20 years ago. If we had tried to tell our younger selves how life would turned out, there is no way we would have believed it...and knowing how stubborn we were back then, we definitely wouldn’t have listened.

When Robert met me all those years ago, I had a very clear vision for my future. I was determined to be successful, executive-level businesswoman in the corporate world. And for a long time, I was on that path. I climbed the ladder, earned promotions, received awards, and checked all the “success” boxes I had worked so hard for.

But no matter how much I achieved, it never felt like enough. It never felt fulfilling.

At the time, I chalked it up to being someone who just always wanted more...more growth, more success, more challenges. But looking back? The truth was, I wasn’t ungrateful. I wasn’t insatiable. I was misaligned.

I just didn’t know it yet.

It wasn’t until what truly mattered to me started coming into question that everything shifted. When Robert and I made the life-altering decision to go from a two-income household to a one-income household with the birth of our youngest child, it felt terrifying. The numbers didn’t make sense. It was a huge risk, we have no idea how this is going to work and what it would look like... And yet, we knew deep down that it was the right move.

And as scary as that transition was? It was one of the best and most life-changing decisions we ever made.

For the first time, life started to feel like it was flowing, not just functioning.
For the first time, success wasn’t just measured in promotions and pay raises, but in the depth of our marriage, the closeness of our family, and the way we were actually living.
For the first time, I understood that alignment isn’t about what looks good on paper...it’s about what actually feels right.

But here’s the tricky part…

We often mistake discomfort for misalignment.

There’s a difference between the hard that grows you and the hard that drains you.

✨ Pushing through discomfort is necessary for growth. It strengthens you, challenges you, and expands your capacity.
✨ Forcing misalignment is different. It slowly depletes you. No amount of discipline, effort, or “pushing through” will make the wrong thing feel right.

The difference? Your why.

When you know what truly matters to you...when your values and actions align...even the hardest moments feel worth it. The exhaustion doesn’t feel empty. The effort doesn’t feel wasted. Because you’re building something that actually means something to you.

It’s funny how, looking back, I can so clearly see the moments where I was forcing something versus the moments where I was simply doing the hard thing that mattered. At the time, though? It wasn’t always so obvious.

I wonder how many people are in that space right now...pushing through something without realizing it’s not leading them where they actually want to go.

Because one leads to expansion. The other leads to burnout.

That’s something worth sitting with.